Wednesday, March 31, 2010
How It All Started, circa 1999
The humble beginnings (12/7/99), as pasted from an ICQ conversation between Mucha (France) and Snow (ATL):
Jonathan:
dude, baab and i determined that we're going all the way to the 31st, or at least Christmas. it's like an Advent calendar. 25 e's/ we're naming them all the way up there, just for you.
Mucha:
DOOD!
that is soooo hardqore
we've got to go all the way up to 31
I mean, given, it may take a while to receive so many appointedly hardqore visions of names from the Lords...
but what could be better than to have a completely new naming convention for the days of the calendar?
"Hey, what's today's date?"
"Oh, it's the sloppy seventh of December."
"Most appointed. Thanks..."
Jonathan:
yeh! dude, so appointed. so tell me-- are you up to the challenge? 31 e's in a day?
baab and i were discussing it-- it'd e like the old french guy walking down the road with his daily baguette. except that the french guy would be you, and he'd be walking down the street with his daily 2-dozen fatpak of e's!
you HAVE to do it for at least one month! can you imagine eating that many e's in a month?
Mucha:
I could support a small developing country with the amount of eggs I ate in a month
up to the challenge?
have I ever been known to turn down ridiculously crazy, extreme contests?
I think the answer is obvious...
Mucha:
besides, I can't do the tour until we have rounded out the 31
I mean, how could I work toward a goal without knowing the appointed moniker?
no need to artificially rush the conception of new e titles, though
they will all become apparent at the appointed time
In fact, to develop monikers as one is sarfing e's is a tried and true method, for the beginner, that is. You see, sarfing e's puts you in the mindset to receive the visions of tastiness. But, when one has advanced far enough down the road to ultimate hardqoreness, one learns that it is not necessary to sarf the e's to receive the visions. In fact, one can carry the e with oneself all day long, in spirit. When one has reached that level, one begins to have thoughts of e's all day long - not just at the appointed time.
True, some of the best monikers have been developed over a delightful bowl of e's. Gluttunous Decade, need I say more?
In fact, doing the tour will be quite an experience. I mean, can you imagine? That is just soooo hardqore! I mean, we could be complacent in our hardqoreness. We've already achieved much more than anyone before us, and oh, so much more than anyone ever would have thought possible. But do we rest on our laurels? NO! We keep it real - 'nuf said.
this month, however, is not the month to be pushing the limits
january is off limits too
too much travel in those two months, so they aren't quite appointed right now
and february - well, that's only 28 days, so that's pretty softqore
march would be the first window of opportunity
quite an appointed way to usher in the spring season, I must say
I left out december mainly cause the month has already started, and if you're doing the tour, then do the tour
don't be softqore and start after almost a whole week has gone by
sure, those first few days of e's are little fellas, but every e counts
you just just can't spurn the softqore single, or else in the end, you will end up being softqore, yourself
Jonathan:
dude, baab and i determined that we're going all the way to the 31st, or at least Christmas. it's like an Advent calendar. 25 e's/ we're naming them all the way up there, just for you.
Mucha:
DOOD!
that is soooo hardqore
we've got to go all the way up to 31
I mean, given, it may take a while to receive so many appointedly hardqore visions of names from the Lords...
but what could be better than to have a completely new naming convention for the days of the calendar?
"Hey, what's today's date?"
"Oh, it's the sloppy seventh of December."
"Most appointed. Thanks..."
Jonathan:
yeh! dude, so appointed. so tell me-- are you up to the challenge? 31 e's in a day?
baab and i were discussing it-- it'd e like the old french guy walking down the road with his daily baguette. except that the french guy would be you, and he'd be walking down the street with his daily 2-dozen fatpak of e's!
you HAVE to do it for at least one month! can you imagine eating that many e's in a month?
Mucha:
I could support a small developing country with the amount of eggs I ate in a month
up to the challenge?
have I ever been known to turn down ridiculously crazy, extreme contests?
I think the answer is obvious...
Mucha:
besides, I can't do the tour until we have rounded out the 31
I mean, how could I work toward a goal without knowing the appointed moniker?
no need to artificially rush the conception of new e titles, though
they will all become apparent at the appointed time
In fact, to develop monikers as one is sarfing e's is a tried and true method, for the beginner, that is. You see, sarfing e's puts you in the mindset to receive the visions of tastiness. But, when one has advanced far enough down the road to ultimate hardqoreness, one learns that it is not necessary to sarf the e's to receive the visions. In fact, one can carry the e with oneself all day long, in spirit. When one has reached that level, one begins to have thoughts of e's all day long - not just at the appointed time.
True, some of the best monikers have been developed over a delightful bowl of e's. Gluttunous Decade, need I say more?
In fact, doing the tour will be quite an experience. I mean, can you imagine? That is just soooo hardqore! I mean, we could be complacent in our hardqoreness. We've already achieved much more than anyone before us, and oh, so much more than anyone ever would have thought possible. But do we rest on our laurels? NO! We keep it real - 'nuf said.
this month, however, is not the month to be pushing the limits
january is off limits too
too much travel in those two months, so they aren't quite appointed right now
and february - well, that's only 28 days, so that's pretty softqore
march would be the first window of opportunity
quite an appointed way to usher in the spring season, I must say
I left out december mainly cause the month has already started, and if you're doing the tour, then do the tour
don't be softqore and start after almost a whole week has gone by
sure, those first few days of e's are little fellas, but every e counts
you just just can't spurn the softqore single, or else in the end, you will end up being softqore, yourself
Moniqers for Each Day
For the edification of the up-pumpers (drum-roll, please)... We've moniqated, and we here provide the moniqers to be used in reference for each day's E's!!!!!
All the way from the year 2000...
E’s – Monikers and what not
# of E’s and Their Appointed Moniqers
1. Unit-E
2. Dynamic Duo
3. The Whole-E Trinit-E
4. Quick Quartet
5. Phunkdaphive
6. Sloppy Six
7. Mercury Seven
8. Elusive Eight
9. Nefarious Neuf
10. Gluttonous Decade
11. E-leaven
12. Dirty Dozen
13. Luck-E Thirteen
14. Phat Phourteen
15. Qrazy Quinze
16. Holland Seize (“Yeh!”)
17. Swampy Seventeen
18. Eat Dix-Huit
19. Nocturnal Nineteen
20. Qore Score
21. Legal-E’s
22. Twenty-Two, Phoo!
23. H.C. Twenty-Three
24. Give-Me-More Twenty-Four
25. Silver Jubil-E
26. Vingt-sEEs victory (like vingt-six)
27. Twenty-Seventh Heaven
28. Egg Crate Twenty-Eight
29. Bovine Twenty-Nine (???)
30. Thirty Throwdown or Thrilling/Thrashing/Thunderous Thirty (never finalized in 2000!!!)
31. Thirty-Frickin’-One Eggs!
All the way from the year 2000...
E’s – Monikers and what not
# of E’s and Their Appointed Moniqers
1. Unit-E
2. Dynamic Duo
3. The Whole-E Trinit-E
4. Quick Quartet
5. Phunkdaphive
6. Sloppy Six
7. Mercury Seven
8. Elusive Eight
9. Nefarious Neuf
10. Gluttonous Decade
11. E-leaven
12. Dirty Dozen
13. Luck-E Thirteen
14. Phat Phourteen
15. Qrazy Quinze
16. Holland Seize (“Yeh!”)
17. Swampy Seventeen
18. Eat Dix-Huit
19. Nocturnal Nineteen
20. Qore Score
21. Legal-E’s
22. Twenty-Two, Phoo!
23. H.C. Twenty-Three
24. Give-Me-More Twenty-Four
25. Silver Jubil-E
26. Vingt-sEEs victory (like vingt-six)
27. Twenty-Seventh Heaven
28. Egg Crate Twenty-Eight
29. Bovine Twenty-Nine (???)
30. Thirty Throwdown or Thrilling/Thrashing/Thunderous Thirty (never finalized in 2000!!!)
31. Thirty-Frickin’-One Eggs!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Cost of the Tour of E's circa 2000
E's
-----
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
2 (8)
-----
30 (1)
6 (8)
9
10
5 (11)
-----
30 (2)
6 (11)
11
12
1 (13)
-----
30 (3)
12 (13)
14
4 (15)
-----
30 (4)
11 (15)
16
3 (17)
-----
30 (5)
14 (17)
16 (18)
-----
30 (6)
2 (18)
19
9 (20)
-----
30 (7)
11 (20)
19 (21)
-----
30 (8)
2 (21)
22
6 (23)
-----
30 (9)
17 (23)
13 (24)
-----
30 (10)
11 (24)
19 (25)
-----
30 (11)
6 (25)
24 (26)
-----
30 (12)
2 (26)
27
1 (28)
-----
30 (13)
27 (28)
3 (29)
-----
30 (14)
26 (29)
4 (30)
-----
30 (15)
26 (30)
4 (31)
-----
30 (16)
27 (31)
-----
27 (17)
Plus we factor in 1 egg breaking
for each package that we buy:
-----------------------------
18 x 1 = 18
27 + 3 = 30 (17) 15 E's used from (18)
total cost for a nonsubsidized tour:
19 FFR / 30 E's 17 packages (+1 for breakage)
-------
342 FFR That's $50
total cost for "our" tour
(days 28, 29, 30, 31 are subsidized by Brittain)
19 FFR / 30 E's 13 packages (+1 for breakage)
-------
266 FFR That's $39
What is E Time?
What is E Time?
Yes, this question has been pondered through the ages. In fact, the answer has always been “just within reach,” yet enigmatic it remains. Empires have crumbled, and new ones have been formed, all because of the elusive E. Always controversial, yet ever relevant to the issue at hand, E Time has become a cherished institution that will forever leave its mark on the history of mankind. Quite simply, E Time is “the stuff that dreams are made of.”
In today’s world, many people are lost in a sea of softqoreness. They toil day in and day out, always working, but never E-chieving. A sad existence these people lead, as they never have the chance to reach their full potential. Introduce these same moribund souls to E Time, and a transformation you will witness. Yes, with E Time, these folk now have newly found energy to get them through the day. When once they dared not attempt the extraordinary, now they can be seen pumping it up in a most appointed fashion. And not only are these people running on E-power, but they also now have reason to live another day. Yes, the mere thought of E Time in the morning brings a rush of emotion to any phully phledged phoo. The crack of the shell, the removal of the dreaded yellow entity, and the euphoric taste of a steaming white – this is paradise. To wake up and experience the E, yes, that is most appointed, but that is only half of what E Time is all about.
You see, E Time is best experienced in the company of good friends, rather than in solitary confinement. While the pursuit of the E, itself, is quite worthwhile, it is best pursued with one’s hardqore pals. It is only when groups of up pumpers gather to sarf the E, that things begin to be achieved “in record time.” As has been parlayed since the dawn of civilization, the sum of E’s is most appointedly greater than each individual E-chiever. In fact, the solidarity of the E has been proven to be so stalwart, that once a group of individuals has truly experienced E Time, they no longer can be separated. The mightiness of each mortal is incorporated into the collective consciousness, and the feebleness of everyone involved is simply forgotten. Yes, the power of E Time is quite a phorce to be reckoned with, to be sure.
It is nearing... the... appointed tiiiiime!
The Tour of E's is here in two days. "What means this?" you axe yourself? Well.... A coalition of the willing will endeavor to sarf the number of egg whites equivalent to the calendar date for a full month, commencing with one E-white on April 1st and culminating in a gloriously eggstravagant "eggshibition day" of 31 eggs on May 1st. Yes, all in one sitting. Yes, all hard-boiled (but just the whites-- don't want to die).
It's the 10-year anniversary, baby! Come along for the ride! Join us, revel as a participant or as a fan, and watch our updates via Facebook, tourofes.blogspot.com, or Twitter @tourofes. Get your COSTCO cards ready-- it's gonna be a rip-roarin', rootin' tootin' time!
For the uninitiated who want to sarf along at home, direct any questions on the conduct of the Tour to our moderators at hardqore.e.sarfer@gmail.com, this Facebook page, or our founding member and only fella to complete the Tour, Jeremy Mucha.
Godfather of the Tour of E's and only man known to achieve the feat, Jeremy Mucha, AKA Captain Hardqore, posing with one of his favorite recently-devoured platters of ribs. Want to rival him? Try 31 eggs in 16 minutes on Eggshibition Day 2000. Yeah, thought so.
It's the 10-year anniversary, baby! Come along for the ride! Join us, revel as a participant or as a fan, and watch our updates via Facebook, tourofes.blogspot.com, or Twitter @tourofes. Get your COSTCO cards ready-- it's gonna be a rip-roarin', rootin' tootin' time!
For the uninitiated who want to sarf along at home, direct any questions on the conduct of the Tour to our moderators at hardqore.e.sarfer@gmail.com, this Facebook page, or our founding member and only fella to complete the Tour, Jeremy Mucha.
Godfather of the Tour of E's and only man known to achieve the feat, Jeremy Mucha, AKA Captain Hardqore, posing with one of his favorite recently-devoured platters of ribs. Want to rival him? Try 31 eggs in 16 minutes on Eggshibition Day 2000. Yeah, thought so.
This Just In!!!
Commencing this Thursday, April 1st, 2010, the 10th Anniversary of the Tour of E's will get underway in the most hardqore of fashions. Can you handle it?!?!
31 days in April means 496 e's will be consumed by each individual embarking upon the Tour. That's a lotta hens, baby. Nearly 2000 grams of protein! YEH!
Don't afraid.. be the bear!
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